Is It Time to Get Help for Mum or Dad? Signs Your Ageing Parent May Need Home Support

Blog 1 in the series:

When you start noticing subtle changes in your ageing parent — maybe they’re not keeping up with the house like they used to, or they’ve had a few too many close calls with the stairs or their medication — it can trigger a flood of emotion. Concern. Guilt. Uncertainty. And often, resistance from the person you’re most trying to help.

You're not alone in feeling overwhelmed. I’ve seen this journey unfold from all angles — both professionally and personally.

Having worked in aged care since 2000 across Australia and the UK — including managing an elderly care service in London and spending five years as an aged care assessor back home — I’ve helped hundreds of families through these early conversations. I’ve also seen the emotional toll this can take on loved ones when support is delayed or avoided.

In this blog, we’ll walk through how to recognise the early signs that your parent may need support at home, so you can feel more confident about when to step in — and how.

Understanding Care Needs: Health and Function First

Caring for someone at home starts with noticing how well they're managing physically, emotionally, and cognitively. Often, families wait for a crisis — a fall, hospital visit, or call from a neighbour — before considering support. But being proactive can make all the difference.

Health Check: What’s Changing? Start by observing any shifts in your parent’s physical or mental health:

• Are they managing chronic conditions like arthritis, diabetes or heart disease?

• Have you noticed increased forgetfulness, confusion or low mood?

• Are they less steady on their feet or avoiding certain tasks?

A conversation with their GP is a great first step — they may recommend allied health involvement (like OT or physio) or suggest a formal aged care assessment.

Activities of Daily Living: The Subtle Signs

In aged care, we use two helpful terms to assess how someone is functioning at home:

• Activities of Daily Living (ADLs): Basic self-care tasks like bathing, dressing, toileting, eating, and getting around the home.

• Instrumental Activities of Daily Living (IADLs): More complex daily tasks like managing medications, shopping, cooking, paying bills and using transport.

If your parent is struggling with even a few of these, it may be time to consider extra support. That doesn’t mean full-time care — sometimes just a few hours a week can provide the safety and independence they need to stay at home longer.

Red Flags: Signs It Might Be Time for Home Care

There are some clear signs that tell us it’s time to explore in-home support. These include:

Physical Changes

• Frequent falls or unexplained bruises

• Difficulty standing or using stairs

• Noticeable weight loss or poor nutrition

Cognitive and Emotional Clues

• Missed appointments or medications

• Confusion about time, place, or routine

• Mood swings, withdrawal, or anxiety

Lifestyle & Environment

• Unopened mail and unpaid bills

• A cluttered or unsafe home

• Spoiled food in the fridge or empty pantry

Real-Life “Workarounds” That Raise Concerns

And then there are those more subtle but slightly alarming behaviours...

I’ll never forget the 94 year old client who proudly showed me how she was still able to wash her ceilings while perched on the top rung of a rickety ladder. Or the feisty retired farmer who kept losing his glasses — only to find them neatly tucked away in the toilet cistern – time after time!

One winter, I visited a home where every window was wide open while the heaters were blasting and every available blanket was draped over laps, chairs and shoulders. Comfort matters — but so does safety and energy efficiency!

These might sound funny at first, but they often point to a deeper truth: many older people find inventive ways to stay independent — even if those methods are unsafe. And despite clear struggles, many will still resist help.

Take a Breath — and a Step Forward

It’s normal to feel unsure about when to intervene. Families often wrestle with guilt, hesitation and concern about upsetting their parent. But seeking help early is not a sign of failure — it’s a step toward sustainability, safety, and dignity.

Often, the earlier you start these conversations and introduce gentle support, the better the outcomes.

Coming Up Next: How to Access In-Home Support

In our next blog, we’ll guide you through what to do if you’ve identified concerns — including how to get started with My Aged Care, what an ACAT assessment involves and what kinds of help are available through government funding or allied health professionals.

Need Guidance Right Now?

If you’re not sure what to do next or need support interpreting what you’re seeing at home, we’re here to help.

👉 Visit www.otplus.net.au and complete our Referral Form📞 Or give us a call to talk through your concerns

☎️ Contact My Aged Care on 1800 200 422 or https://www.myagedcare.gov.au/assessment/ apply-online💬 You can also speak to your loved one’s Home Care Package provider about referring to us directly

Taking the first step can feel daunting — but you don’t have to do it alone.